Hearts-Inside Cake... Or Not

After I had so much fun learning how to make the Polka Dot Cake...

I decided that I wanted to try it with hearts for Valentine's Day. It seemed so simple... and really, the hearts-inside part actually turned out pretty well...

It's just the rest of the execution that failed... miserably.
I'm hoping to give the hearts - or maybe another shape - another chance some time soon. But, if you want to try it yourself... and certainly get better results... let me tell you what worked, and what decidedly did NOT.
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