A few days ago we found some info mentioning Screaming Yellow Zonkers being sold at Walgrens...which we don't have around here. That brought back memories of when we used to find them at...of all places...CVS (aka People's Drug Store)...as they say on the box...crispy light butter-glazed popcorn...the taste that speaks for itself! I immediately headed for the web and proudly typed in Screaming Yellow Zonker in the Google box and waited anticpating nirvana. And, there it was...second one down...Lincoln Snacks Company...right where they've been all this time. [Very satisified sigh]
So, of course I had to order some, right? I just wasn't sure how many or what size...decisions, decisions...4 oz box (the box points out that this is "one eight thousand eight hundred fifty of a metric ton') or 8 oz box? I decided after much thought to get the 4 oz box because that sounded littler...what can I say? I've always had math anxiety. Next, how many? Oh Boy! The minimum order is 12 boxes. Okay. If they were small, then that wouldn't be very much for everyone. I order 24 boxes! What the heck! 
When I got home from work today there were two cartons on the front porch. Hmmmm. They were pretty big, too. Hmmm. Hauled them in the house and sure enough SCREAMING YELLOW ZONKERS! Awesome! And the 4 oz boxes? Very nice size...like a box of cereal size. Oh Man! 24 boxes. I was so excited to see them I took them out of the cartons and lined them up on the table...just like an old friend...24 of them. Here's some of the funny stuff on the side of the black box:
1. Don't put them in a room with a beast. (How'd they know about Layla?
2. Don't ignore them. (I really can't)
3. Don't paint them blue.
4. Don't lie to them. (Never)
5. Don't leave them in a store.
6. Don't buy them shoes.
7. Don't let them talk to strangers. (I love that one)
There's a note on the bottom of the box: This might be the bottom of the Screaming Yellow Zonkers box! There is one way you can check this. Open the top and turn the box upside down. If the zonkers fallout, this is the bottom. If they fallup, this is the top. If nothing happens, this box is empty.
This is zonkers history from the web site, written in true zonkers form: Hey dudes! The outlandish spirit of the 1960's lives on with Screaming Yellow Zonkers®, the light, crunchy popcorn snack with the sunny yellow glaze. Zonkers became a favorite among those who craved sweetened popcorn but didn't dig nuts. ***so true ***The first item in the food industry to be packaged in black, Zonkers created a sensation because of its comical graphics and zany text. The spirit of the '60's lives on today in the updated version of the black box.
Anyway, at this point there aren't 24 boxes any more. We've been raided and now we're down to 16. Make that 15...the one I have in front of me is almost empty. I'm heading for the basement with what's left. Have to find some place to stash these puppies....On second thought maybe I should hide them at my office...no, no...they eat anything there. I know, I'll just have to work the zonkers into some kind of cupcake! Screaming Yellow Zonkers: get zonked!
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